Marriage – the monthly argument

Does this sound familiar? 

If your answer is YES then don’t worry because it means you are human, healthy, have an opinion which you are not shy to express to your partner, and that you form part of this beautiful and diverse world, the very nature of which is continuous challenges, tests and trials.

0Allah reminds us of this reality in the Quran: ‘He Has created death and life that He may test which of you is best in deed.’ [67:2] 
These tests become manifest in various forms like health, wealth, status, family and so forth. One form in particular manifests in marriages where arguments arise, which is so natural and in my opinion forms part of the way God created us and this very world. We are so different yet so much the same. We are male and female, lean and stout, calm and irritated, healthy and sickly, and the list is just endless.

The point is that when opposites of this nature come together under one roof then differences of opinion is bound to emerge. One thing to bare in mind is that throughout these periods of differences and arguments we should never lose sight of the fact that we can still be caring, assisting, protecting, duty bound and loving toward our partner and family.

Once we realise the nature of the world and accept that we will be challenged in some form or the other, as the Almighty reminds us further: “We will certainly test you with some fear and poverty, and loss of property, life, and crops…” [Qur’an, 2.155], then we are at least prepared for these ‘decreed challenges’.

To keep it short I end off with a quote from one of the wise of old: “be grateful for the challenge before you for God saw it fit for you. You never know, you may not cope being in another’s shoes as their challenge may be unbearable for you. So look toward your blessings and be thankful and look not at what lies in the hands of others and feel continuous regret.”

So argue and be human, but never lose respect, always keep up your duty toward your family and thank God for opening your heart to His reality.
Allie Khalfe

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